Surfing Sci-Fi: Doctor Who – “The Wedding of River Song”

 
These spoilers are confused. Not by the spoilers, but by how they feel as a result. Basically, these spoilers are bi-spoilers. Some would call it spoiler fence sitting, but these spoilers would personally say that they are just… confused.

 

 
 
 
 
So, now we’ve had the rest of the weekend to digest the season finale, how do we all feel then? Already opinion seems to be pretty evenly polarised, which I’ll concede is often the signs of a finale well done. Which side of the argument do I fall on? If it wasn’t clear from the intro, I’m somewhere treading the murky waters of the perilous precipice that is the middle. Believe me, I don’t want to be – I want to be staunchly one or the other, lying on the comfy chaise longue of self-assurance – and though it might take a while for me to be either one or the other and multiple re-watches, for the time being, I’m in the middle.

This quandary stems from the finale both hitting the right steps, but also stumbling completely off of the Dance Dance Revolution platform and into the change machine, possibly bumping into a one or two people along the way. You have the complete and utter epic romp that it is, with sharp dialogue and incredible storytelling vision, acting and direction, all of which do make for a cohesive awesome. But then you have the crestfallen mouthy pouts at not getting the answers and resolution to both seasons we were promised, impacted more by the finale not quite reaching the heady heights that were very much hoped. Just like the Doctor, the Moffat lies. Kinda.

It’s almost as if this seasons’ arc ended up dragging Moffat by the lead with him struggling to keep up. As I’ve said before, big beefy arc stuff is my thing and preferred method of storytelling, but the lack of closure definitely gives you the impression of the analogy above. Perhaps the fact that we were waiting on the finale and held it in such high esteem, that fourty-five minutes just did not seem remotely long enough to be able to neatly wrap up all the loose ends and top it off with one of those gleemingly gaudy bows. If this finale had been afforded a longer running time like the others before it, then maybe these last three paragraphs wouldn’t have happened.

Perhaps the biggest problem with this episode was that A Good Man Goes To War was a resounding success on every level and all the more fitting finale. As is the nature of these things, it becomes the go-to episode when weighing up a comparison; even more so in this instance as it serves as the left bookend to this weekends’ right. Moffat did say that he wanted the emphasis to be on the mid-season finale, with the season finale being somewhat low-key, but honestly, you can’t do low-key when you’ve got floating air-balloon-Mini’s and a steam train riding out of the Gherkin.

In a season full of slight of hand, the Teselecta seemed an obvious choice for a stand-in for the Doctor; especially with the heavily emphasised “Previously” sequence. Everyone had their suspects – well, the Teselecta and or a Ganger. I’m sure it’ll come as no surprise that I was pleased it wasn’t the latter. “But we saw the beginning of a regeneration”, I hear you not cry. While it could be said that it wouldn’t be out of the realm of possibility for a time-travelling-manship inhabited by shrunken people that can alter it’s form could “simulate” a regeneration – either by modulating it’s form or, my preferred explanation, it released superheated sparkly gas – it does feel like an absolute bloody cheat and a con. But then, in hindsight, that’s exactly what it was meant to be – in both of the fullest sense of the terms, for both characters and audience alike. I’m falling down on the side of “you old sly dog, Steven you.” Clearly it is the work of a mad genus wordsmith wizard, though I wouldn’t blame you at the same time in the slightest if you wanted to point and scream at him like a Body-Snatcher and proclaim “troll.”

Again with the obvious – the question. As I’m sure some others did, I had inklings about what the question might be because you can’t get a plainer-sight as the title of the actual show; though I hoped it wouldn’t be as titular as “Doctor Who?, and more a meaning of life type of affair. Though it may seem self-satisfying, the Doctor is the show, and what it does do more than provide set-up for the next season is bring the mythos of the show firmly back down to its roots. I, for one, can’t laud that enough, and with his return to the shadows and new found guilt, the future is all the more tantalising and promising.

With the Doctor going back to his smaller size shoes, it does feel that there is some finality to the family Pond. I selfishly hope it is definitely not as they are without a doubt my favourite companions since the revival, but what with their recent being “saved” by the Doctor, Rory’s vocal disapproval and their grand arc and influence which goes against the Doctor’s aforementioned demure boots, sadly it does feel that way. Karen Gillan did confirm she was back for season seven, but that doesn’t exactly say full-time now does it? Still, Wibbly River is almost a dead cert to appear again in whatever order. She is married to him now. Sort of. Marriage of convince is perhaps most apt as he couldn’t have come out with “look into my eyes, not around the eyes” etc.

Then there are the other questions left unanswered and or plot-holes, the biggest being the why. Why did Madame Kovarian’s grandiose plans have to involve River? Other than an origin story, why did it have to be River? Why go to all those lengths to kidnap Amy and her baby, train the newborn into the “perfect psychopath”, a tailor-made assassin for the Doctor, when all they needed to do was lure him to the lake and kill him. Plus, we still don’t know who she actually is. That’s the most unsatisfying question to be left unanswered for me. She had menace throughout the first half of the season, stalking Amy throughout time – or so we thought – and she was the one responsible for bringing the hurt and taking the Doctor’s companion, his best friend and Rory’s wife. Now if there’s one thing you don’t do is piss off the Rory. I won’t say that Amy leaving her for dead and making with the pain wasn’t met with applause, but it wasn’t a fitting end to an otherwise deliciously dark enemy. Then again, maybe that’s not her end – The Silence are still out there regardless of them believing the Doctor to be dead, and she’d remember her pleas for mercy falling on – ahem – Amy’s deaf ears, so maybe that’d ramp up the evil should she return. I for one very much hope it does.

The other being that we’re still none the wiser as to who, or what, controlled the TARDIS at the end of last season, causing it to explode and also the Time Cracks. Clearly it was another agent of The Silence, but still, that needs explaining. Talking of The Silence, what were they doing with the faux-TARDIS? And why do The Silence not want the question answered? It must never be answered to the audience because then we’ll know just who the Doctor is, but from a character standpoint, why can’t they know? There’s power in a name, and The Silence lead you to be – what with them being “the sentinels of history”- that them killing the Doctor would be for the greater good, so just what power would be released if he answers? Guessing that is where River learns his name, but as we know, the universe continues to spin after she learns it. Nevertheless, it does set the stage – if at the furious expense of not knowing – for the seventh seasons’ finale where the safe money’s on the Fields of Trensimore being where it all plays out.

What doesn’t sit right though is that, once again, we’ve given the “reboot” to time/reality/the universe (delete applicable) treatment. It’s been done as much to death as the Daleks in recent years and most certainly does need a rest. There’s no finality, angst to proceedings if the magic reset button can be pressed continually. The Time Cracks were perfectly used last year to eradicate some of the unwanted lingerings of the – what I like to call, “lulwut” – RTD era, but now? It’s a bit annoying that it can all be washed away.

Flaws, disappointments and short comings – wholly not living up to what was expected, which, really, we should have learnt by now not to expect the expected – but yet, I thoroughly enjoyed it. The whirlwind pace and action, and what bits we did get answered, were strangely enough to satisfy while watching. It’s only after that you begin to go “wait, hang on a minute” and even then I’m willing to forgive for the most part.

All I truly know is one thing…

IS IT CHRISTMAS YET?!

 
Quotes

“What happened to time?” “A woman.”

“They know the queen is your only legal move. Except you’ve already moved it twelve times, which means there are now four million volts running through it. That’s why they call it live chess.”

“I hate rats.”

“Hell. In high heels.”

“On the Fields of Trensimore, on the Fall of the Eleventh, when no living creature can speak falsely or fail to answer, a question will be asked. A question that must never ever be answered.”

“I think I’ve been running. Why do you have your revolver?”

“I could go on all Jack’s stag parties in one night.”

“Always made us pour an extra brandy in case you came ’round one of these days.”

“Amy and Rory. The Last Centurion and The Girl Who Waited. However dark it got, I’d turn around an there they’d be. If it’s time to go, remember what you’re leaving. Remember the best. My friends have always been the best of me.”

“Please, my love. Please, please, just run.”

“Gun smoke. That’s gun smoke. Oh. I appear to have fired this.”

“Pond. Amelia Pond.”

“She said you were a Mr. Hottie-ness, and that she would like to go out with you for texting and scones.” “You really haven’t done this before, have you?” “No I haven’t.”

“Oh, they’re flirting. Do I have to watch this?”

“Am I the woman who marries you, or the woman who murders you?”

“The Silence would never allow an advantage without taking one themselves.”

“River Song didn’t get it all from you. Sweetie.”

“So, you and me. We should get a drink sometime.” “Okay” “And get married.” “Fine.”

“You’ve touched so many lives, saved so many people. Did you think when you’re time came you’d really have to do more than just ask? You’ve decided that the universe is better of without you. But the universe doesn’t agree.”

“I can’t let you without knowing you are loved, by so many and so much, and by no one more than me.”

“I’ll suffer if I have to kill you.” “More than every living thing in the universe?” “Yes.”

“I’m not sure I completely understand.” “Ah, we got married and had a kid and that’s her.” “Okay.”

“Yes! And I’m his… mother-in-law…” “Father, dear, I think Mummy might need another drink.”

“Doctor who?”

 
Wibbly

- Glimmers of RTD whimsy with the teaser which was met with my Sideshow Bob rake noise.

- Charles Dickens new novel about “ghosts in the past and the present and the future all at the same time.” Dan, I think the Moffat’s been reading WaTchers, mate.

- Doctor, really, did you have to mention Rose? Seriously.

- Kind of right about the Eye Drives *smugly chalks that one up to a win*

- Touching nod to the Brigadier, especially so for the classic fans and one that will hopefully inspire some of the newer fans to investigate and go back and see a staple of the original series as much as the TARDIS. I’ll admit it, I welled up.

- If we get a similar moment where the Doctor learns about Sarah Jane’s passing – which I’m hoping we will – I’m telling you now, I will lose it.

- Amy with a machine gun. So hot