Surfing Tinfoil-Hat: Who is she?!

“It’s alright. It’s quite alright. I’m dying. I can fix that. It’s easy really. See?”

Be warned that the below is so heavily laden with spoilers from both “The Impossible Astronaut” and “Day of The Moon”, that if you haven’t seen them yet, then turn off the light, but be careful of Grues.

Also, before we get making with the crazy, I don’t think we properly introduced this latest addition to the Surfing Geek Life family. Mind you, I don’t think it needs that much of an explanation, really, maybe just a bit of a clarification. Surfing Tinfoil-Hat is where we can get our fanboy theories on, and it’s not strictly just for Doctor Who talk, even if the show is flavor of the month. Lets put it this way – if LOST was still on the air, yeah, the show would totally be getting coverage under the Tinfoil-Hat banner.

Last week we brought you our first, initial theories of what the The Future Doctor was doing for two-hundred years; what or who are The Silence; and whether the enigmatic Mrs. Robinson that is River Song is pregnant. This time around, it’s all about her – The Little Girl.

 

 

“The child. She must be cared for. It’s important. That’s what they said.”

The Little Girl – she’s the key in all of this. If questions weren’t being bounded about last week, then there certainly are now, especially after that ending. Not since River Song has there been instant mystery surrounding a character, and we still don’t even know who she really is yet. So, who is The Little Girl? Where did she come from? Duck, here comes the staffs’ ideas!

 

She’s a Time Lord

If there’s one thing that she must be, simply must be, is that she’s a Time Lord. No other race, no other species possesses the ability to regenerate but the Gallifreyans. To some extent, Jenny, the Doctor’s “daughter,” exhibited a kind of pseudo-regeneration in that her body was brought back from the dead, mended – but yet despite her Time Lord genes and two hearts, she did not regenerate. As Jenny was a construct – granted an unintended one – it would appear that the regenerative process is solely reserved for pure Time Lord, so by that, The Little Girl doesn’t look like an attempt by The Silence to try to create one.

 

She’s Amy and Rory’s daughter

Maybe Amy’s concerns were right – all that time traveling could have an adverse affect on an unborn baby resulting in a “time head”. That, coupled with the Doctor’s sneaky body scan that resulted in what I think was best described by someone on Twitter as “Schrödinger’s Baby” – that Amy is both pregnant and not – could potentially have some kind of timey-wimey effect on her non-baby-baby; perhaps making it evolve to the next stage of humanity, closer to that of the Time Lords. You know what they say, sometimes the most obvious answer is the correct one.

 

She’s not Amy and Rory’s daughter

But we also think that the most obvious answer is just a bit too obvious. This is purely from a writers perspective and knowing the kinds of curve-balls and slight of hand said writery types are notoriously known for inflicting upon us – but hey, without them, then this here feature wouldn’t be around. We’re onto you, Moff.

 

She’s River and the Doctor’s daughter

Okay, so that kiss – that wonderfully awkward and heart-string tugging kiss – was so much more than just a kiss, right? Take the clear emotional ramifications for River that it was her last kiss with the Doctor out of the equation; take a step back; and watch it again, and tell us that the weight of the situation was so much heavier than just that? There is so much that we don’t know about River, and too her relationship with the Doctor, and again, it could be fake-out that they’re that much of an item and even married, but just say they were that intimate, and that when we finally see River for who she really is, she’s also sporting a baby bump? If the Moff is taking the Doctor Who Movie as cannon, and there’s been no reason to question otherwise, then the Doctor is half-human himself and he can regenerate, so if The Little Girl is the fruit of their firsts-and-lasts loins, then that could be why she can shoot orange out of her extremities. Plus factor in River’s not partaking of the wine at the picnic… bing-to-the-oh.

 

But the photo of Amy holding a baby in The Little Girl’s room?

Again, these writers with their Final Drafts and their awesomely cool horizontal script-monitors and their deliciously wicked and genius minds. It’s a fake-out. Has to be. At least that’s the consensus here.

 

So if she’s not a non-baby-baby and not the offspring of Mrs. Robinson, and is a Time Lord…

Where did she come from? The best we’ve got so far is that she’s a Time Orphan. The Time War was devastating and there could have been an evacuation. How she ended up on Earth and into the hands of The Silence? The Crack. We’ve been told that this season we’ll find out more about who made the TARDIS explode, thus creating the Cracks. As seen in “The Eleventh Hour” and commented on by the Doctor, the Cracks are “two parts of space and time that should never have touched,” and resulted in Amy’s room being stitched together with the alien prison housing Prisoner Zero.

Now, keep that in mind and with the weird hallucination-esque vision of the woman with the metallic eyepatch that Amy saw peering out of The Little Girl’s room, what if the orphanage in Florida was linked with a Gallifreyan orphanage through the Crack, and The Little Girl fell through.

 

Okay, so what’s with the space-suit?

It wasn’t until the final scene were we see The Little Girl regenerate that we learn that she was dying, so it’s not too much of a stretch that she was put in the space-suit to keep her alive. Maybe she was ill and that’s the reason, or maybe The Silence hypnotized their way to getting the space-suit made simply because of the protection it would give her, what with its onboard life support and weaponry. She’s valuable, that much we do know, and if she is a Time Lord (she is), then her very being is gold-dust, and what do you do with an asset that pricey? Yeah.

We know that making a Time Lord doesn’t work (see comments above about Jenny), but what about stealing an unborn Time Lord and growing it in an incubator? It’s been established now that The Silence steal technology. Who better to fly their wanna-be TARDIS than a Time Lord under their influence from birth? So, what if the space-suit wasn’t needed to contain her because she was ill, but to grow her? What about the dying and regenerating, then, you ask? With the uncertainty of how Time Lords age (I mean, the first Doctor was an old man when we met him, but this Doctor lived 200 years still looking young?) what if they grow by regenerating? She’s a child now, but next time we see her, she could be a teenager.

 
Anything we miss? Got your own crazy you want to share? Let us know below.