The Wyrm’s Turn: A Little Something on the Side

Every once in a while I stray, I can’t help it, it’s just the kind of guy I am. I want a bit of strange. If you talk to people in my community it happens all the time. Essentially you get bored with the familiar. Something else catches your attention and excites you in ways you didn’t think were possible anymore. Sometimes you just need a little something on the side. Yes, I’m talking about the “other group,” and no I’m not ashamed to admit it. I have a wide variety of needs. Needs that can’t be met by just one gaming group. Sometimes I need adventure, excitement, something unpredictable, or even more so, something different.

I was talking about this with my dentist the other day. No seriously, there I was jaws wide, he and his assistant all up in my grill, and he starts talking about his other life, his geek life. We were talking about my mother in-law’s opinion of my trip to Gen Con last year, what she called a “nerd convention.” He said to her, “Didn’t you watch Doctor Who or play D&D when you were younger?” Her response was no. “You’re the weirdo,” he told her. “We had all sorts of games. Some were open to newer players and we had others that were set up just for the experienced guys. Fast paced games that were more like a duel of wits.”

His assistant interjected, “I played D&D too. I was a druid.” I gargle something unintelligible and he nods in agreement. Like me, my dentist said he had too many characters to recount and that was why he had so many games.

I don’t just like one flavor. You can’t tie someone like me down to just one type of game. Sometimes I want the hopeless, maddening investigations into the machinations of some Cthulhu cult. Other times I might want the exhilaration of crazy Anime-inspired high fantasy, like Exalted. Sometimes I want to explore dungeons and hack and slash my way through hordes of deadly beasties for their treasure. There’s really no limit to what can be done with gaming. With almost 40 years of games, innumerable companies, and multiple editions there are so many choices that for someone like me, it’s hard to focus.

This is where I have to come out and say it, my wife and I are poly-gamerous. We enjoy multiple games with multiple partners, and until now we’ve been a little ashamed to admit it. It’s hard to tell a friend you can’t hang out with them on a specific night because you’ve got something going on the side. You find yourself telling little white lies to spare their feelings. Sometimes you have to come out and say it, it’s not you, it’s me. I just want something more sometimes. Look, you’re great as a dwarf healer, but I just can’t see you in spandex saving the city. No, I think you look great in leather, but sometimes I need something more exotic.

Having that other group does free you up though. Let’s face it: games, like anything else, can get stuck in a rut. It’s not necessarily anyone’s fault, but people get burned out all the time. Doing the same thing week in, week out it can get old, stale, boring. Having that other group provides you with a different outlet, different personalities to interact with, and different stories to tell.

I create groups with certain types of games in mind. I know my players, and I know realistically what they are and aren’t capable of. Sometimes people will surprise you, but honestly once you’ve known someone and gamed with them for a while, you know their type. You’ll know whether they’re the hack ‘n’ slasher, the lurker, the power-gamer, the loner, or the one knight stand. These are all great gamers, and in their niche, they know their stuff, but take them out of their comfort zone, and things just aren’t as fun.

Down in the Keys, and maybe it’s just the kind of people I roll with, it’s hard to find heroes. Oh you’ve got anti-heroes a plenty, and mercenaries are a dime a dozen, but your true blue hero, those guys are rare. Even when I introduced my parents to gaming, they took on a decidedly mercenary bent. In real life my dad has multi-classed as a Writer/Nurse/Priest and my mom has always worked in insurance, with attorneys, and now for our local 9-1-1. I’m not sure if that makes her a Paladin or a Rogue, but either way she has generally worked for the betterment of her fellow human beings. Once in the dungeon all that goes away. They’re more than willing to show no mercy to their enemies, steal all their loot. And once they had to be convinced by the party’s paladin to let an unarmed lackey leave the dungeon alive. Does gaming make people into bloodthirsty killers, or is it just a nice outlet when all you do is help people in your mundane life?

Whatever the cause, it’s really tough to find people who want to consistently, or even occasionally play the good guys. My games are constantly held up with characters who want to do drugs, or hit on women, rob people or just cause mayhem. I mean I understand that a large part of gaming is wish fulfillment, but seriously what kind of depraved wishes do people have that I can’t go one game without sighing and going off on some heinous tangent. Whatever happened to the virtuous knight, the selfless healer, the vampire that didn’t endorse wholesale slaughter of the innocent? Don’t get me wrong, I love giving in to the dark side once in a while, but it’s honestly more fun with people who are a little less comfortable with the idea. I want to push your boundaries, step just a little outside of your comfort zone. If your comfort zone belongs on an episode of Criminal Minds, WTF am I supposed to do?

So I have more than one group. It’s been going on for some time. We have some friends for whom flirting with larceny feels exhilarating, but it’s not plan A. People who like playing good guys, and but also aren’t against playing characters more on par with the crew of Firefly, painted in shades of gray. I’ve yet to have to run a scene where they seduce a barmaid with mental powers, or where they secretly kill an NPC that had surrendered. The option is there, these people aren’t saints, but they fill another need, the need to tell stories about people doing right, upholding morality, punishing the unjust.

I’m frankly tired of narrating power fantasies, of telling the bad guys stories. Bad guys can be fun, but not if you play them all the time. Sometimes I curse the idea of neutrality, or “unaligned” as 4th edition has dubbed it. If nobody cares about morality, what does your character stand up for, what do they feel needs to be protected? As a GM, Storyteller, Narrator, what ever you want to call it, you have to put up with a lot of stuff that you wouldn’t normally want to include in your game. It’s a part of the role we play, we’re the referee, the one calling the plays, not the guy calling the shots. By picking up another group, and trying something different I can get closer to the kind of games I really want to play without railroading my players into what I want.

So go out there, live dangerously. Try something new with a stranger. Mix it up a little, don’t be afraid. Just remember feelings don’t have to get hurt. We’re all adults here. Slip into something new, and have fun playing around with someone new for a change. Just remember to bring protection, +2 Elven chain never hurts. Me, I prefer Ioun Stones. Either way, I hope after all of this, we can still be friends. I still want to game with you, just not exclusively.

About Stygian Jim

Stygian Jim was born in Missouri, but his family later settled in the Florida Keys. It is there that our benighted correspondent spent his formative years, and it is there he lives to this day. A consummate gamer geek he whiles away his life planning dramatic stories and plots for people and places that do not exist, and besting his compatriots at games of strategy.

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