Talk Nerdy to Me: The End of Dating (in 2010)
Dating is supposed to be like riding a bicycle: once you’ve got the hang of it you never forget how to do it. However, this year, for me, dating has been more like learning to ride a horse after years of traveling via roller skates. It’s been an adventure, to say the least. My dating life this year has had some ups and downs; and, as this column is part advice and part personal experience, I thought I’d take a moment to share some of my thoughts about my dating adventures this year, and declare my “dating resolution” for the upcoming year.
For the first six months of this year, or thereabouts, I was in a serious relationship. To be honest, it was the first really serious and long-term relationship I’ve had I’m quite a while. It was the first time since my last serious relationship (which lasted about six years and ended with me being completely and utterly unable to trust another human being) that I really felt a deep connection with someone; it was the first time in a long time that I trusted someone completely and loved them unconditionally.
And then he broke my heart.
It’s taken me most of the year to come to the point where I’m not angry or hurt over his actions, although I still refer to him as the “asshole ex” because what he did was an asshole move. To him, I have nothing to say, and hopefully I will never have to speak to him again.
But, to many of the guys I’ve dated since Asshole Ex, I’d like to say that I’m sorry if I didn’t treat you fairly or give you the chance that you deserved.
To my unicorn-chasing friend, I’m sorry the most that I hurt your feelings. You were the very first guy that I dated after Asshole Ex, and I wasn’t ready yet to try dating; but I did it anyway because everyone kept pushing me to “get back on the saddle.” Instead of admitting that I wasn’t ready to both of us, I kind of brushed you off and pushed you into the friend zone against your will. I’m sorry I treated you that way — although I am very glad that we are friends.
To the improv guy, I’m sorry that I didn’t think your improv skills were very good and was kind of vocal about my dislike of going to your shows — but to be fair, there was a two drink minimum and having to pay money to watch groaner comedy kind of sucked, too.
To the Air Force guy, I’m sorry I never called you back after the first date. I was discouraged because you were being deployed. I should have given you a chance.
To the Turk, you were an incredible jerk to me and you treated me very poorly — but you also had a lot going on in your life, so I forgive you. Just stop trying to talk to me when you see me at work (this is why office romances can be a bad idea); just because I forgive you doesn’t mean I want to talk to you.
There are others, too. I’ve been on a lot of dates this year (being a geeky single lady that looks a bit like Kate Winslet is apparently the key to getting asked out). Some guys I didn’t give a proper chance, while others I just lost touch with because I’ve been busy. I’ve found plenty of reasons to brush people off or push them away, and I’ve made far too many excuses when it comes to dating. So, my dating resolution for 2011 is to give the people I date the proper respect that they deserve, and to be a little more honest with myself and others (but, you know, in a nice way) about how I feel about people so that I won’t unintentionally lead anyone on or hurt anyone’s feelings.
Here’s to 2011 being a fabulous year for geek dating!
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